Leadership is tough. Everyone wants to be the boss, but few realize what they are getting into until it’s too late. It seems glamorous to move up the ranks, as it comes with greater salary, benefits, and prestige. When things are running smoothly, you can’t beat it. There is nothing more rewarding than bringing people to a better place than where they’ve come from. But when the storm hits, and the storm will hit, you wonder why you chose the job in the first place.

As a young up-and-coming leader, I was entrusted with a special, groundbreaking project. It involved developing a product unlike anything we had done before, for a market we had no experience in, and required technology that was being developed in parallel. And, we had to do it all in 50% of the time of a typical program. So why did I sign up to lead this? Sounded like a good idea at the time. I got to be the leader of a team of superstars, and the product had visibility right up to the CEO. Did I consider the downside, the possibility of failure? Of course not! I got to be the boss. I was blinded by the big light guiding me up the corporate ladder. Now let me be clear. This was the most exciting time of my career. We were developing a leadership product. I had the most talented people, and the gold card for anything I needed. In retrospect, all my excuses for failure were taken away right up front.

So, I’ll fast forward. The required technology was late, the project was running over budget, and because it was the first of its kind, we were finding all sorts of technical issues that we had not anticipated. We were working seven days per week and on many occasions, pulling all-nighters to deliver first prototypes. Oh, did I mention that my wife was due with our second child right in the middle of our program schedule? I missed that point when I signed up to take the job. But I saw the bright light to leadership. It was beautiful! It must have distracted me. But I digress…

Now it’s important to introduce you to our boss at the time. This man had a heart of gold. He was on the senior leadership track, and this new project was the key to the C-Suite kingdom. Said another way, he staked his reputation with the CEO on this new, groundbreaking project. To say our boss was colorful would be a gross understatement. He was a very large man, probably +300lbs, dominated any space he walked into, and was an incredible dresser. I always admired how a man of that size had such strong executive presence. He owned a Ferrari, and it was always entertaining to see him get in and out of it!

Every single day, first thing in the morning, he would come into our area, spend a few minutes with me to get a feel for the program progress, then walk around, asking each team member how it was going. He had his finger on the pulse of this program like it was an intensive care patient. He would make the same rounds each evening before leaving for the day. Pressure? I felt like the Houston guys in Apollo 13!

He had an unconventional way of making his point. There was a time during the program when we were really stuck with a technical issue and falling behind schedule. During his morning visit one day, I noticed that he skipped my office and went right to each of my team members. I could hear that he was asking each team member about their family, specifically their children. Before he left our area, he stopped by, sat in my office and said, “You know, 23 children are gonna starve.” To which I replied, “Excuse me?”

He informed me that if we didn’t launch this product on time, he was going to have to let us all go, and as a result, all the children of my team members were going to starve! He stressed that this included my unborn second child. Prior to our meeting that morning, he went around to every team member and counted children. Every day after that, he would come in and say, “Tom, you gotta save the kids. You can’t fail.” Unconventional motivation? You bettcha! As I look back on it today, I can honestly say he made me most of what I am today, and I’m quite proud to have been coached by him.

At one point during the program he could see that we were pretty beat up with all the pressure. We had all the signs, working round the clock, sleep deprived, but determined to win. One day, instead of stressing the starving children, he came into my area, sat down and said, “Ya know Tom, you guys are in a bullfight. You’re in the ring with the bull and you’re putting up a good fight.” I nodded. “Everyone wants and thinks they can be the boss and leader,” he added, “They want to get in the ring with the bull, but they have no idea what is involved or have the skill it takes to survive.”

He pointed out that most people are spectators, sitting in the stands with their beer and hot dog, cheering and offering instructions on how to beat the bull from the comfort of their seats. He explained that few people make it into the ring, and of that population, few of them know how to win. He went on to explain that my team and I were in the ring with the bull, and we were winning. He said, “People don’t realize that the bull has big horns and those horns are sharp. And all they give you to fight is a little red rag.” I just looked at him. He continued, “No one realizes how big that bull is, or that it has sharp horns until they get in the arena. Most people get gored, but you guys are in there and winning.” He was proud of how we were taking on the bull.

We don’t know what we’re getting into when we take on a leadership role, but what we should know is to expect the unexpected. It will be more challenging than we think. A leader has to create their own solutions, as the little red rag won’t be good enough, and there will be a stadium full of spectators telling you how to do it, having no idea how big the bull is or how sharp the horns are.